My reincarnation is wrong, as I expected
by QuietMenace5
Summary: When one thinks of reincarnation, usually they would think of being an animal or being a kick-ass, system abusing fictional character... So why is a ordinary loner like me thrown into this character!


Life is a complicated maze filled with elaborate traps, veiled illusions, misdirection and lucky breaks at rare times. Each and every choice sets you on a different path which further branches out even if other paths are running parallel sneakily. Knowing how to read the signs, relying on your instincts, observing and thinking ahead, one can avoid the dead ends no matter how deadly or harmless they might be. Although enjoyment and suffering might go hand in hand, everyone takes different roads eventually and distance or cross others along the way and branch out more after meeting… Even if one reaches 'the center' of the maze, those are just smoke and mirrors when there's doors present as they look forward. At the end of the journey, be it a loss or a win, it should all end up once and for all…

Or at least should, apparently my fate didn't get that memo. Why? Simply because I shouldn't be aware of myself after I passed away. A sport car speed through red lights and crashing right into you is a pretty 0 chance survival, I say. Yes, I'm very self-aware of my condition at any given time, so merely the concept of living should not be present in my mind. Confirming I am being in the dark while not having any moving space is giving me the creeps. As an avid otaku in a non-Asian country, I've read a bunch of manga, manhwa, manhua (I'm a man(?) of culture, thank you very much), light novels, fanfictions, short stories… I can only conclude that it scarily reminds me of a generic opening of a reincarnation novel that the character starts as a baby and throw any imprisonment setting out the window. (Denial of being used as a biogenetic battery that machines run on like in that one classic movie trilogy is too stronk, pls don't nerf.)

How can I guess that? Just able to wiggle my arms and legs a tiny bit? Check. Unable to open my eyes? Check. Moving fingers and wrists delicately? Check. No, I'm not gonna describe this in full detail, you creepy perverted nincompoop… Anyhow, I'm waiting and contemplating my life choices and my life in general. After I came to conclusion I have no idea how I'm able to be remember any of my past as an I'm currently an unborn child, I'm guessing it won't last long and come back years later, as my body is feeding of my mum's energy and keeping my brain running. I wanted to hypnotize myself and seal my memories so it doesn't affect my growth, but seems I won't need to. Heck, I'm terrified of the outside world and who I will end up as… A protagonist, a second-lead, a support or a mob? A boy, a girl or something inbetween? Horror and hentai story lines are a big NO-NO, my imagination is too much as it is. What, I'm prolonging this unnecessarily?! You think I like being like this?! It's embarrassing and scary when you focus on it! Ah, I feel sleepy. Let's hope my next life is filled with siblings who I can pamper…

* * *

(4 years later)

Gods above and Satan below, I know I have sensitive ears (assumption from my previous life, hush), but how does one manage to get in a situation like this? There's a baby softly sobbing in a cradle next to my bed and the rhythmic bumping that echoes in these _ungodly_ hours implies all things _unholy_ that should be _purged_ from anyone's memory. Silently slipping off my bed, I look around for baby supplies around while approaching my sniffling younger sibling, wondering who their right mind leaves a toddler with a young child alone. Unhinging a side of the baby's bed, which is admittedly slightly hard with a child's body, I look at occupant with a smile on my face. Dressed in a cute pink onesie, looking around with scared, teary onyx eyes was a dark blue haired baby girl… Is that a freaking **ahoge**? You know what, I don't care who says what, I'm going on a war path after I take care of her, _how dare those mongrels make my sweet, adorable little sister cry?!_

"Shhh, it's okay, it's okay, I'm here…" I whisper, clearing her tears with a nearby tissue while softly grabbing one of her adorable tiny hands and rubbing the back of it. She looks at me with a searching gaze, her breathing slows a little, that's good, I need to check if she's just afraid or needs a change or some food. Uh oh, those look full…

Brain going into overdrive, I start humming and occasionally singing while grabbing the necessary equipment and start my task, distracting her while ignoring the 'ambient' noises, never losing my smile. What, even if I haven't done it before, doesn't mean I don't know what to do when a baby cries, I read enough manuals and put some thinking into it. After making sure both she and cradle are clean, I dispose of the bad stuff into the trash bin and start playing with her. She looks uncomfortable still, but I can see it's not because of me after gently poking her tummy to which she cutely frowned.

'_Do all protagonists have E rank luck or something..._' I thought as I turned, let's call it rotating hypno-toy that should buy me some time.

"Nii-nii is gonna be right back." I whisper as she looks in front of her in wonder and slight glee, to which I sneakily leave the room and softly run down stairs as _beasts_ shake the house, hoping for some milk formula as I ransack the cupboards. Thanks for the stool and chair, I can easily climb and look, finding some after 2 minutes of searching… Making sure water is properly drinkable, adjusting it to room temperature and mixing it, I bolt upstairs while panting and sweating, having already used all the energy of my diminutive body, I walk into my room to see the babe chuckling and reaching for the moving toys.

'_First, finish what you started, then figure out what in the hell is going on._' I struggle to lower the side of the cradle and lift her up carefully to feed her. Wrapping up the whole process of feeding, making her burp and lulling her to sleep, I sit on the bed and start searching for any possible recent memory while looking at a reflection of myself on the window glass.

Similar, but longer hairstyle of my lil' sis, dark blue hair that reached down my neck with a stubborn ahoge, piercing yet bored onyx eyes, blank expression that has no business on a youngsters face, a scrawny yet taller than average figure for a 4 year old boy. Images flash that reveal my parents, Japanese looking and speaking, seeming in late twenties with handsome/beautiful features, but slightly disinterested eyes and mild distance towards me tells me they're really happy about their daughter than me. Only things I can relate to name calling is Dad, Mom, Hacchan and Macchan, with the latter being the younger of the two children. Around middle-class family, having an occasional babysitter around 'till I go to kindergarden. Disturbed nights weren't recent developments it would seem. Old life memories are fuzzy as they're barely images and more leaning to knowledge type memorization, adapting to my new body and brain. I don't feel any energies or something of that type, so I'm in the safe zone of supernatural, excluding reincarnation.

In the corner of my vision, there's a display on a night table displaying 04:27 A.M. which makes me storm up curses in my head. Seeing that there's nothing informative in the room, sister asleep and house quiet, I navigate myself to the living room where I saw shelves filled with books and search for dictionaries and history books. What, I'm a brat now and barely knew a lick of Japanese before going to the cycle, need to make sure what kind of world I'm in even if something is nagging at me.

Soon enough, after some minor happenings since the arrival of my parents to the room, I established myself as the leader of the totem pole that is our family in house matters, much to their chagrin and embarrassment. They were immediately labeled as inconsequential to me (which only I know) and left scurrying after my monotone questioning since even after them yelling my full name didn't change.

So here we are, cursing rom-com gods and possible Zaimokuza's for my eventual chaotic life... My name is Hikigaya Hachiman and welcome to SNAFUverse (that I hope isn't based on a fanfiction).


End file.
